Dear Eve,

It is only today that I feel I have the strength to respond to the tragedies engulfing our lives. First of all, it is important in reading my personal views to understand that my husband is on a plane to Bosnia as we speak. He has been a member of the Mass National Guard for 7 years after a 7+ year tour with the United States Marine Corps. As you may know, many of our soldiers from the Valley unselfishly volunteered their services a year ago last May to replace existing troops in Bosnia on our peace keeping missions there. They transferred to alpha company, part of the 1/104th (l) Division here in Massachusetts. After a year or more of intense training, they traveled to New Jersey for final preparation in August.

This event  in itself has thrown many Franklin county families as well as surrounding community members lives into absolute turmoil. Most of  the men have wives and children and all have families. By God's good graces, many of us were able to travel to New Jersey on 9/08 to spend a day with our fine men. I myself, along with my three children traveled back home on Monday, September 10th. Saying Goodbye to a man so loved and yet so dedicated to his country is of course heart wrenching. The children were deeply saddened as was I.

The news on Tuesday was indescribable. Minutes seemed like hours.  Our hearts shattered as we watched in horror the intense suffering.  The fear that my husband, being only minutes away from the scene by air instilled a fear in me I have never experienced before. I kept assuring my children that he was fine, yet my heart was aching. Now still even though we know where he is, and that the unit is still fully committed to it's mission, tensions run high. Being that the unit is an infantry unit and very skilled in ground warfare, means to the families that the chances of them being moved during or after deployment are better than normal. We sleep lightly, pray a lot, and try to keep life as normal for the children as possible.

Tears appear from nowhere as we watch in horror the search for peoples loved ones. I cry with them. I am somewhat eased by the show of patriotism in this country of late but I would be lying if I didn't also say that it makes me angry. Being so close to the military for all 16 years of my marriage, we fly our flag every day. I become infuriated each time the color guard marches past in a parade or ceremony and people don't even notice. Aren't we supposed to put our hands on our hearts and remove our hats?!!! When did that end? Often, when the Star Spangled Banner plays at an event, I alone am singing. I say to my fellow Valley dwellers, thank you for realizing how much this country and our freedom means to each of us. Please don't stop believing. For the love of God, appreciate the sacrifices that many of your neighbors and friends go through every day whether they are wives, children, parents, lovers, or friends of our military. Yes, even the National Guard. Our men will not be the last to be deployed in what promises to be a lengthy endeavor, but rest assured, they all believe in the cause, it's grave importance, and protecting the lives and freedom of us all. So much so that they leave all that is precious to them to do it for you and I. Please think, and be grateful. They are ready and willing.

To all of my fellow spouses and families of men who have departed... as we struggle to cope with the many questions of ourselves and our children, and paint a smile on our lonliness every day, remember, "United we stand........."  God Bless America and those who will rise to save her.

Jacki S. Dillenback

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