Did you ever notice how folks in the Pioneer Valley wear their politics on their bumpers? Most of us wouldn't walk into Mix-n-Match or Stop & Shop spewing our political views or personal fetishes. But we tell the whole world exactly what we're thinking on our bumpers.

I'm pretty particular about my bumper stickers. My Subaru has nearly worn out its three year warranty, has one ding, one dent and a half dozen scratches - but only one bumper sticker. Don't Postpone Joy is the only sentiment I've deemed worthy to be advertised on my rear end. But I would make room for one that reads My Husband Did This – if it had an arrow that pointed to the dent in my fender.

But I've kind of been wondering about the wisdom of bumper stickers. I mean, sometimes I'm so intrigued and curious to read someone else's bumper that I've nearly driven right into it. And do you really want I'm Pro-Choice and I Vote on your bumper if I'm Pro-Life and I Carry a Gun is on the car behind you? And what's with Don't Get Too Close or I'll Flick a Booger at You? Why not just get a bumper sticker that reads I Pick My Nose When I Drive?

Twice in the last two weeks I've parked behind a really scary pick-up truck in a parking lot in town. This particular vehicle had four bumper stickers but only one theme: Driver Carries Only $20 and Ammunition; Happiness is a Belt Fed Weapon; Quit Honking, I'm Reloading; and Piss Off the Liberals; Buy a Gun.

"Gee," I thought to myself. "What exactly is this person trying to say?" And before my opinion was swayed by the logic and well-reasoned discourse presented by these bumper stickers, I gingerly backed up and sped away. I figure if there's someone that angry – and armed – in the neighborhood, I'm not gonna hang around.

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