A
Basic American Love Story
February 14, 2002
My
last column elicited a lot of response. (Well, I got an
e-mail or two ... ) Seems some of you were concerned about
the whereabouts of my kicky, khaki boots and whether or
not John noticed them.
Well
since you asked and since it's Valentine's Day, I'll share
my own personal love story. It's a pretty basic American
love story. You know the kind: Boy meets girl; girl falls
in love with boy; boy asks girl out for lunch; girl
ponders whether or not she should hyphenate her name when
she and boy get married; boy asks girl out for drinks;
girl chooses names for children; boy asks girl out for
dinner; girl gets tired of waiting around for a ring and
joins the Peace Corps hoping that boy will be impressed
and come after her; girl finds herself in malaria-infested
jungle. No doubt you know how it all goes from there.
Now
to answer some of your questions:
Did
John notice the boots and if not what did he notice?
I asked John recently about that, to which he replied
"You were wearing boots?" What he did notice, no
doubt, was my sparkling personality and very large ...
ahem ... heart.
Was
it love at first sight?
Any
intelligent person knows that there is no such thing as
love at first sight. Loves comes only after a lengthy
period of getting to know a person, sharing common
experiences and creating a bond. It was love after two
hours.
So
what did happen to the boots?
They
quickly discovered that the Ecuadorian jungle was no place
for kicky little boots with a sliver of a heel, even if
they were khaki. They were relegated to a corner of the
hut where they eventually sprouted a fuzzy coat of the
same mysterious mold that covered the walls. They soon got
tired of that and hitched their way to the Galapagos
Islands where, while walking on the beach, they were
discovered by a movie producer who offered them an obscene
amount of money to be the "boot doubles" for the
more timid footwear of Julia Roberts and Madonna.
Is
it true you ate guinea pigs in Ecuador?
Yes,
but not the live ones.
(Back
to Eve Droppings)
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